TKAM

After reading the next three chapters, I felt really bad for Scout. It makes me wonder why she doesn't have any girlfriends at school or around town. I know trying to be one of the boys isn't alway the best, but it seems that is all she has. I truly admire  Miss Maudie and her personalilty. She is always so lively and sweet. I hope when I'm at an older age I will be like her. She reminds me of my grandma how she cares so much for her flowers. My grams has this cute obsession for roses. Her whole front yard is an explosion of colors and scents. It is wonderful and always brings a smile to my face. :)

Imagination

"I was not sure, but Jem told me I was being a girl, that girls always imagined things, that's why other people hated them so, and if I started behaving like one I could just go off and find some to play with. "(pg 41) I thought it was so interesting how Jem view girls. It is so fascinating that he view imagination as a negative thing. I think the world wouldn't be able to go around without imagination. As a child, it is the key essence of the mind, the free way to drift and be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do, and  go wherever you're mind takes you. As far as my life, I know there is no way for any hopes of survival without imagination. I love drawing and going into my own art mindset, so if there was no such thing as imagination, I wouldn't be able to function properly. It is the way through which I express myself and bring freedom from any pain or heartache, so I love imagining things. I would never want t lose it in any way.

To Kill A Mockingbird

 Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing. (pg 18) When I read over this, my heart instantly dropped. I went over it again and again, and thought how beautiful this really is. I gained out of this that people do not fear the loss of life itself. I forget how precious life is. Each day is a gift and I take it for granted at times. I feel like I forget to be thankful for a new day and instead look at the problems in that day. I want to love to breath in fear of not the loss of breath, but just not having it. I am given breath each day, and now I hope to love just having breath rather than taking it so lightly.  

FURNITURE

My Dad said something that made me so sad today. And it wasn't because it was intentionally, he meant it in a funny way. But when I thought about it, it sort of sunk me into a little depression. He said," Hey little furniture! Why don't you come out of you're room and come with me and your brother for a ride?! " When I heard him say this I giggled at first, but while I was in the car I became enclosed in that word he compared me to. FURNITURE. It is lifeless and remains in one place once set. The idea of being furniture became more and more real to me. My life should be a little more than tucked away from the world and getting light only here and there. I wish I wouldn't have to feel so enclosed by strict rules and have a little more freedom. Does anybody else feel me?

One Day At a Time

I sat in math class completely bored and felt my brains were slowly being strained into mush. I though I had to find a way to think about something to prevent me from going insane. When I glanced around the room, I saw a quote by Jackson Brown Jr. It stated, "The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today! " I read it over a couple of times for my brain to really soak it and, and then was inspired by this quote. It really did prove how important today is for your future and days to come. If you slack off for today, the result would only be a fall back to your day tomorrow. In order to keep growing, you must maintain a steady pace each day to reach your goal. This really applies to everything. Wether it is school work today that must be done, or cleaning the dishes to avoid a pile up the next day, take one day at a time and try your very best; because it determines the path for tomorrow. 

My Twinie

 Many people asked common questions about my twin brother, Matthew, and what it is like to be a twin. Simple ones are, " So do you like having a twin? ," or " Do you guys have that... ya know.. freaky twin thing where you can sense the other one's pain and stuff? " ( That one is my favorite.) But when I think it comes down to it, the best one I have heard was " Do you think you would be different without him?" When I sat and thought a long time about this question, it brought tears to my eyes. My brother is my other half, my partner in crime ( as well as justice ) and I could not live without him. He is also one of the reasons why I am who I am today.  My mind wouldn't function the way it does, because he has taught me to be open minded and look at all of life's aspects in every which way. When he writes, it inspires me to try and reach his level, and when picks up his guitar and sings I can't help but jump to my feet and join him in harmony. Our inside jokes that have built up over the years are countless and we practically talk in our own "twinie" code. Sure, we bicker back and forth and get into verbal fights, but in the end when it comes down to it he will always have my back and stand there for me. I look up to him so much for the strength he has had overcoming obstacles in his life ( none of which I could have withstanded) and coming out of them even stronger. We've grown so close together and I couldn't see life any other way without him. I could go on and on about how wonderful, spectacular, and beautiful person my brother is, but I think enough is said when I know there would be no survival for me without him.

Love you Chur 

What do you think?

 This week when watching " It's a So Called Life " Rayann said something that really stuck out to me. When answering Angela's comment, she said something along the lines of , " People throwing themselves at one another is like, the base of civilization. " Even if she meant this in a sarcastic way, thought about what she could mean by comparing  it as the base of civilization. I think she meant that everywhere you go people are going to be pushing themselves on one another. What do you think?

Are you Prepared?

 When my  spanish teacher passed our quizzes that I forgot to study for, I couldn't help but complain. I didn't study, and wasn't fully ready. Then my spanish teacher told me something anybody could have thought of, but it was so valuable to me at that point. He said,  "Life is a series of tests. Are you prepared for that?" The instant he said it my brain was imprinted with his simple little quote. At that moment, I realized I wasn't ready for one of life's tests, and it frightened me. It made me think if I am not ready for a test that is visual and I can see, what about the tests that aren't right in front of you and are in the emotional realm, and require great strength and even some wisdom to pass? As far as those kind of tests that come at a daily basis, I think the only way to pass these is to soak yourself in the knowledge of those elders around you that have already been through what you are going through. You learn from their mistakes and slowly day by day grow into the person you are destined to be. Are you prepared for that?

Both sides of the tree

Our question for today was whether or not we have something that is passed down through generations within our families. From both sides of my tree, I inherit phrases and lessons that I hold very close to what makes me the person I am. 

On my mother's side, one of the most important people in my life and woman that I owe everything to is my grandmother. For three generations now, she has drilled each of us with her study habits and idea that school always comes first. It is her that I have to thank for even being in this class, because without her I would never be at the level academically that I am now. Her love and patience continued to show throughout my mother's generation, mine, and  my brother's and sister's children's generation to come. Her determination to raise up ambitious children shines through all of our lives.

On my father's side, it is a sort of a completely different playing field. My grandparents always taught him as a kid to be an individual and to be a leader not a follower. I can not even attempt to count how many times I have heard my parents, especially my father, tell my brother and I to always be the leader and not the follower. Eve though I still stand for this, I do have my disagreements and when I have kids and it is my turn to pass it on, I will tweak it a bit. (I think being a leader is very important, but to even be a leader you  have to humble yourself  first and be a good follower.) As far as being individual, I try and apply this to anything and everything I do. To me, this is one of the most important elements that makes me who I am.

Perseverance

  Today I noticed a little plaque in my house that I had neglected to pay attention to. It was titled " PERSEVERANCE ", and said under it " The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it. " ( written by Moliere ) I thought what this quote could mean and why someone would chose every word they did.  The purpose of this author's message was to encourage people to fight strong in whatever they may be facing. 

   It really touched me and reminded me of my mother.  About six years back, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The situation was so lurid for my family, and made me aware that there was a chance I could lose this woman in my life that I depended on and loved so much. But when I look at this quote and think about how my mother fought through and battled that cancer, the great strength and faith she gained along the way was her glory. She persevered and never gave up, even at times when it was hard and she felt like it, and in the end was rewarded with a life to live for. It brings tears to my eyes witnessing how far my mother has come. If she can make it through something as tough as cancer, I always tell myself to NEVER give up.  Remind yourself as well to always push through because in the end it will be worth it.

Beauty Comes From Within

 Today I recalled an an event that I will never forget that happen two years ago. Since I didn't wear any makeup, I felt sort of down.  But about a year ago I could not live without every bit of my face powdered with makeup and I had a very big insecurity that I could not get over. I thought beauty meant being the idea of society's "perfect " model half a pound of makeup on. Everyday was a struggle to wake up and do my makeup, but none the less I ALWAYS managed to get up and complete my mask. 

One day I was in the car with my mother and my little niece driving along to church choir practice. I was completely sick to my stomach that I didn't have makeup on and the people that see me the most would get to see the TRUE me. I couldn't help myself and was raging with disappointment and fear. Just as I turned my face to look out the window at something to get my mind off of the senario, my little niece gently brushed my cheek and directed my face towards her direction. She grabbed ahold of my hand and, clearing her throat, whispering," Mhhm Dani? Makeups don't matter at all. Beauty comes from the heart, 'cause thats what matters the most. " She smiled as I turned away to look out the window; this time because I didn't want her to see the tears running down my face. I couldn't believe such beautiful words came out of this little girl. That this little girl could posses such a great impact as to change anything that I had ever thought about myself. I wiped my face off to turn back and look at her, and gripped her hand a squeeze tighter. 

Since that day  I have always tried to base a theory that even without makeup I still am beautiful;because the truth and most honest of hearts is always from that of a pure innocent child's. so even on my down and out days, I will always remember that even if i am bare with no makeup at all, that doesn't matter. Deep down, the beauty comes from within. ~