That Much More Older

Just today I realized that I am going to be sixteen in eight days. Am I excited? Of course. Am I scared though? Hell yes. I'm that much closer to being on my own. I'm that much closer to paying my own bills, buying my own everything, and worrying about actual important things. And I'm that much closer to facing the real world. It is amazing how fast time really does past by when you aren't paying much attention to it. And everyday I get closer and closer to facing this world on my own. I'm excited though too because it means I'm that much closer to being on my own. In such a way that there are no restrictions, no strict rules or curfews. No more of those frequent interrogating  questionnaires." Who? What? Where ? Why?" Closer and closer to freedom.

Being Thankful

I'm sure everyone enjoyed the great food that is served at Thanksgiving. The yams with toasted marshmallows on top, tarty cranberry sauce, mash potatoes with homemade gravy, and of course turkey. But beside the food, this year I really looked at the overall special day. As I sat at the table glaring at the food my mother and grandmother had slaved over the stove all day to prepare, I looked up and viewed every person. My sister to the far right of me, picking at lint my mother had on her who was to the left. To the far left was my older brother, sitting with his had on his fork ready to devour his meal. And right to my left and right next to me was my grandmother and my bother, Matthew. ( Down stairs were the kids and my brother and sister in-laws as well as my Dad and Uncle.) I truly do appreciate each and every person that was there. I looked at what each of them do for me and how grateful I am to have them in my life... I love them all so much and sometimes I think I do take advantage of how lucky I am. This year it wasn't only the food that hit me... but the love throughout the room that reminded me of what a great family that I have.

Repercussion

Repercussion. It really does eat dirt when all you do is sit in boredom. I put it upon myself though. It all was the result of an action that I should have never done. On Wednesday if I would have just controlled my anger and let the rumor he had said about me go, I wouldn't be in the spot I am right now. I would be off to Camp Cambell with everyone else that signed up to be a cabin leader having no worry in the world. I hate the fact that I feel like I have no control over myself. I am a happy person don't get me wrong, but when I am angry it's like I have no way of stopping this beast inside of me.. So now I'm just sitting here bored out of my mind, plenty of time to spend thinking about what I had done.. How it wasn't worth it at all. Having something on my record, facing groundation, and worst of all disappointed in myself.

Scout and Aristotle's Differences

 Today when I was reading To Kill A Mockingbird, I found a great difference with the way Scout thinks and the great philosopher Aristotle's beliefs. On page 227 when Jem and Scout are discussing the meaning of "background" and comparisons with people, Scout says something that instantly catches my eyes and bring me to the summer assignment of World History.  In her arguement, she tells Jem," No.. everbody's gotta learn," and that ," nobody's born knowin'." Her idea is opposite with Aristotle's view. It may have to do with age, and the fact that they are of different times but Aristotle believes the complete opposite. His idea is that everyone is born with knowledge, and that all they just have to do is tap into it. This comes back to the idea that somehow history and english always work together.

Drug Dealing to ... High Living?

If I were that girl, maybe it would have impacted me even more. This young man had changed my life in a sense; in a way that I don't even know of, but he did. Going to my locker, I walked along the packed hallways, hugging tightly to unknown people shoulders. While strolling slowly along, I over heard a girl say to a fellow next to her, " So why do you do it, I mean not to be nosy, but...," lowering her tone she continued, " sell drugs?" He looked at her and chuckled before his response. "Well, it's just what I do. It's what I have to do for the money, ya know? ", he said having no sense of eye contact at all. She frowned a bit and said, " Man, that's just a bummer.... there has to be another way for you? There has to be something else? " He looked at her with a sparkle in his eye and said," That's just it though.. There isn't.. " His voice echoed in my head when I closed my locker and went to my next class. There isn't. There isn't. It really brings even more sadness to me when people my age believe there is no hope for them. That there are no other ways. It saddens me that this is a lifestyle exceptable for them. That there are no higher hopes for themselves. There has to be someone to encourage them, to tell them they can get that job, or even achieve those grades. Those kind of people need to come alive... And that's exactly what I think he did. He brought that hope and encourager to life in me.

My Life?

At this point in my life, I feel like all it is is one great big argument. It's like every corner I turn there is someone waiting there, ready to say something that I disagree with. It really does frighten me, and I don't know what to expect or do. I guess this is a time in my life that I am charted out to disagree and butt heads with my parents, but I feel like I have experienced this all of a sudden and really hard. They say never mix your feelings with reality, but it seems like this is really all my life is. There are of course other components like love, happiness, and hope but arguments have chewed up, swallowed, and used a cup of hatred to wash them down. They have disappeared for now, and all I seem to have sometimes is myself. It gets lonely, but in time things will hopefully brighten up.

Pan's Labyrinth Connections

I love when you watch a movie for a second time and come across a connection with something else you have never noticed before. When I was watching a movie in Spanish class called "Pan's Labyrinth, " I noticed a scene in the movie that correlated with the famous story of Adam and Eve. The main character Ofelia is in her own world within her mind of imaginary tasks and stories. One action she must do is go into a beast's feast, but is instructed not to  touch any of the food. God gives the same type of instructions to both Adam and Eve. He specifically tells both not to eat anything fruit from one tree he points out. Ofelia is tempted by the food too much, and plucking the smallest grape, she pops on into her mouth. The minute this happens, the beast is waken up and she realizes she has done wrong. Similar to this, Eve bites into the fruit, giving life to the sinful nature within both the minds of Adam and Eve. Both of these events show that, as Atticus says, " [ They] just [have their] blind spots along with the rest of us." Neither of these characters are perfect, for no one is but there are consequences to actions.